Oops I Did It Again
by CBloom2
Summary: Don't worry, no red leather onsies in this! I hope it will be clear by the end of the story why I used the title. Possible SPOILERS if you haven't seen the Autumn trailer, as it's based on a scene from that, with a slight twist.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi all, back again. Loved the final scene (in the pub) between the guys in the last episode, so I'm hoping that what we've seen in the trailer and what we've read about is just a big misunderstanding and that our boys will not fall out again.**

 **This is loosely based on a particular scene in the trailer, so if you haven't seen it then this will be a SPOILER.**

 **It will obviously have my own slight twist, so I hope it's ok.**

 **As always I don't own anyone whom you recognise, if I did...well you can guess what I WOULDN'T be doing!**

 **Oops I Did It Again.**

Cal closed his eyes as the soft, warm lips met his, the scent of wine lingering in the air around him. His eyes flickered open for a second, a gasp escaping from him as he suddenly broke the kiss.

"What the hell?" he spluttered, as the pub came back into focus.

"What's wrong?" Alicia queried, obvioulsy confused about why he broke away.

"Why are you doing this?" he demanded, confused.

"What do you mean? I like you, you like me, what's wrong with a kiss?" She giggled as she pulled him towards her, her unfocused eyes gazing up at him.

"I like you, you like me..." Cal stammered as he pulled away, "You've no idea do you?"

"No idea about what?" Alicia was starting to look a bit bored now.

"Have you any inkling of how much my brother cares about you?" Cal asked, beginning to feel slightly guilty for his part in the kiss.

"Who, Ethan?"

"Yes Ethan. He's the only brother I've got. He really likes you Alicia," Cal told her honestly.

"Oh, I didn't know. I mean, he's lovely and all..." It looked like Alicia was trying to pick her words carefully, "But he's really not my type, and besides, I want some fun and Ethan is to serious for that."

Cal went quiet as he watched her take another drink, wondering if he really did have feelings of his own for her or was it just that Ethan liked her so much that he gave in?

Cal felt his stomach sink as he quickly looked round to see if his brother was there. He had said that he would meet them both there later as he was finishing up some paperwork. He let out a sigh of relief when he couldn't see him. He and Ethan had been getting on so well recently that he could have kicked himself for jepordising that over some stupid kiss.

He became aware of Alicia trying to get down from her stool, without falling - failing miserably as he caught her in his arms.

"Oops," she giggled as she threw her arms around him, "My knight in shining armour," she chuckled.

Cal couldn't help rolling his eyes, "If I had a pound for every time I've heard that," he muttered under his breath.

He pulled her to her feet, "Come on, time you were getting home," he told her.

"My place or yours?" She questioned rather loudly as Cal tried to steady her as they made their way to the door, almost knocking David over in the process. Cal noticed that the awkward nurse stared at them, mumbling seemingly to himself, "Makes sense now," but Cal paid it no mind as he inclined his head in an apology for nearly flattening him.

He bundled Alicia into a taxi and proceeded to walk the ten minutes to the flat.

He was surprised the find the flat in darkness when he got home. He felt sure that Ethan would have been there by the time he got home. He quietly opened his brother's bedroom door, expecting to see a shock of blonde hair poking out form the top of the duvet, but he wasn't there.

A small knot of anxiety formed in his stomach at the unexplained absense of his younger brother. He glanced at his watch - Ethan should have finished in the ED hours ago. Perhaps something had happened that had made him later in finishing, but Ethan would have let him know if he was going to be late home.

He dialled his brother as he walked back into the kitchen, but it went straight to voicemail, so he sent him a text message, then made a cup of coffee while he waited for a reply. Before he knew what was happening, he was laid out on the sofa, fast asleep, completely unaware that his brother hadn't come home.

 **Don't worry Ethan isn't injured - well not physically. You'll find out next chapter - perhaps hee hee.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for all the positive feedback from the first chapter. I'm so glad you liked it. I know I don't always answer my reviews but I do appreciate each and every one of them. Onwards...**

 **Chapter 2**

Cal felt the first fingers of heat caressing his face from the morning sun as it streamed through the lounge window. Slowly, he pulled himself up to a sitting position, massaging the bottom of his aching lower back. He got to his feet and made his way into the kitchen, "Do you want some tea?" he called out as he passed his brother's bedroom.

Again, he didn't hear a sound from the other side of the door so he gently opened the door...the bed was exactly as it had been the night before - Ethan hadn't been home at all.

For a split second Cal wondered if Ethan had met someone and 'got lucky', but the protective big brother in him knew that there was something more.

Once again he called his brother, and once again it went to voicemail, so he sent a text message, even though the previous one hadn't been answered.

Perhaps he had spent the night in the on call room after a later finish than he had anticipated - but he would have let his older brother know. Ethan always told him if he was going to be late home for whatever reason.

Cal poured his tea and tried to eat some toast, but it felt like cardboard in his mouth so he threw it in the bin and put his cup in the sink. He had a quick wash and shave then grabbed his keys and set off for work.

Cal arrived at work and promptly strode into the staff room to see if Ethan was there. He felt deflated when he didn't see him there. He scurried up to the on call room - no sign. He checked cubicles, then resus, then the toilets - he was no-where to be seen.

He marched back into the staff room and sat heavily onto the couch, running his hands through his hair, barely noticing Robyn and David as they closed their lockers, "Are you alright Cal?" Robyn asked the young doctor.

Cal looked up, surprised to see her, "What? Oh yes...well no not really..."  
Robyn looked towards David, confusion evident on her face. Cal noticed the look, "No, I mean - Ethan didn't come home last night and it's not like him. He usually lets me know if he's not going to be home. I've looked everywhere I can think of and he's not there. He's not answering his phone..."

"Were you talking about Ethan?" Louise questioned as she walked into the room mid conversation.

Robyn nodded, "Yeah, Cal said that he didn't go home last night..."

"Oh, I saw him last night..." she began.

Cal jumped to his feet, "You saw him - where?"

Louise took a step back at Cal's enthusiasm, "He...he left after his patient, then about 10 - 15 minutes later he came back to see Elle in the office...he looked upset..."

Cal swallowed, "What do you mean, he looked upset?"

Louise sighed impatiently, "What do you think? He wouldn't talk to anyone - David tried but he basically ignored him...not like Ethan that."

Cal shook his head, definitely not like Ethan. Suddenly, he remembered almost barrelling David over in the pub. He swung round to face him, "You were staring at me last night in the pub - do you know something?" he pushed as the nurse shuffled from one foot to another nervously.

Robyn and Louise noticed David's anxious posture, "Come on David," Robyn encouraged, "If you know something, you need to tell us. You can see how worried Cal is."

David looked once more at the anxious older brother and sighed, "I was on my way into the pub when your brother almost knocked me over..."

Cal swallowed hard, "He was in the pub?"

David nodded, "It looks like he walked in but walked straight back out again because he wasn't looking where he was going..."

"Oh god..." Cal breathed, running a hand over his face, his stomach churning.

"I asked him if he was alright, but all I could get out of him was that he couldn't believe it and something about never trusting you again," David finished not able to maintain eye contact with the younger doctor.

"Oh no...stupid, stupid, stupid!" Cal exclaimed as he began pacing up and down the staff room.

"Cal, what's wrong?" Robyn enquired, slightly worried about the erratic behaviour of her friend.

"I've just messed everything up between me and my brother again! I need to see Elle..." with that he disappeared, leaving three very confused nurses in his wake.

"I wonder what that was all about?" Louise mused as she hung her jacket up.

"Come on David, what do you know?" Robyn turned to her friend, who was shaking his head.

"I don't know anything, except what I told Dr Knight - and even if I did I wouldn't tell you two."

Louise dashed round him so that she was facing him, "So you do know something..."

"I don't know anything for definite," he told them, "I only know what I saw with my own eyes."

"Which was..." Robyn egged him on.

David looked round him as if he was checking that no-one else was listening, "Well, when I went into the pub, I was nearly knocked over by Cal and a rather drunk Alicia..."

"Oh no! He wouldn't," Robyn gasped with her hand over her mouth, "He knew how much Ethan like Alicia..."

"Now Robyn, we don't know what actually happened, so don't start spreading anything - that goes for you too Louise," he said staring straight at the two nurses, who tried to look shocked that he would even have said that to them.

"I can't believe you just said that to us David," Louise tried to sound upset, but they all knew better.

David shook his head and left the two younger women to their gossiping.

Cal strode purposefully towards Elle's office - he needed to find his brother and he needed to find him now. As he passed the nurses station, Charlie called him, "Cal - is everything alright?"

"Yes, why wouldn't it be?" he stopped in his quest for the office for a moment.

"Well I noticed that Ethan has put in for some emergency leave, so I wondered if he was ok," the older nurse explained patiently.

"Emergency leave..." Cal mumbled to himself.

"So is he?" Charlie persisted, "Is he ok?"

Cal ran a hand through his hair, "Honestly Charlie...I don't know. He didn't come home last night, but I now think I know why..." he trailed off sadly, "I've messed up again Charlie..."

With that he turned on his heel and left the confused nurse in his wake. He reached Connie's office, which Elle was using while she was acting clinincal lead, and softly knocked, gently opening and closing the door behind him when Elle allowed him entry.

Elle looked at him, "Everything alright Dr Knight?"

"Why do people keep asking me that every time they see me?" Cal grumbled.

"Maybe it's because you look like you've got the whole world on your shoulders..." she began.

"I need you to tell me if you know where Ethan is...please," Cal blurted.

Elle sat back in her chair a little, "Ah, I wondered when you would be here."  
"He's taken emergency leave and he didn't come home last night and I think I might have something to do with that but to be honest Dr Gardner, I'm worried sick about him. He won't answer my calls or my messages...I just need to know if he's alright," Cal pleaded, nervously chewing the ends of his fingers.

"I actually don't know where he's gone. He was pretty upset last night when he came to see me. He wouldn't give anything away, but he said that he needed to 'get out of here' for a while before he did something stupid, I believe his words were. He didn't tell me where he was going, I just assumed that he'd be going home."

"But he didn't come home..." Cal felt worried and angry all at the same time.

"Have you any idea why he might have been so upset?" Elle enquired, hoping that the older brother may have an idea as to why Ethan had taken off so quickly.

"I might have - and if I'm right, it's a total misunderstanding," he told her.

"Usually is," she said to him.

"I have to make this right, but I don't know where he is," Cal told her sadly.

"Is there anyone that he might have confided in?"

"Hmmm possibly..." he replied thoughtfully, "Thank you for your time Dr Gardner," he said as he got up to leave.

"I hope you sort it."

"So do I," Cal offered her a small smile as he closed the door behind him.

A few minutes later, an exhausted looking Alicia wandered into the reception area, Cal caught her arm and steered her into the empty staff room.

"Have you seen Ethan this morning?" he demanded with urgency.

Alicia's bleary eyes met his, "No why would I?"

"He didn't come home last night," Cal told her.

"Oh the sly dog," Alicia giggled.

"He's taken some emergency leave," he told her.

"And...?" Alicia looked confused.

"And he was in the pub last night..." Cal told her watching her reaction. He saw the exact moment that the penny dropped, "Do you think..."

"Yes I think! He's going to kill me."

"I kissed you though and you pushed me away - which hurt my feelings a bit I might add..."

"I'm thinking that he didn't see that part of it. David said that he nearly knocked him over, he was that determined to leave, so I'm sure that he didn't see everything. I'm worried Alicia..."  
"Come on Cal, he's a grown man," Alicia looked surprised at his anxiety.

"You don't understand," Cal began but decided against saying anything else, instead sending another text message to his brother.

"I can't think where he could be," Cal's anxiety increased a little more.

"Well if he saw what you said he did, he's obviously gone away to lick his wounds, he'll be back when he's ready," Cal couldn't believe Alicia's flippant disregard for his brother's feelings.

"Oh yes he'll come back to a brother that he thinks has betrayed him...again!"

With that, Cal stormed off leaving a confused Alicia in his wake, "Don't worry love," she heard Charlie's voice to her left, "No-one has been able to understand those two yet."

Cal spent an amazingly long morning treating many patients in his usual professional manner, even with the black cloud over his head. He kept sending messages, hoping that Ethan would get fed up enough to answer. While he was at the desk, finishing off some paperwork a sudden thought hit him. He wondered if Ethan's phone had GPS on it. He swithched his own on and lo and behold the position of Ethan's phone soon became apparent. Cal signed the notes excitedly and shot off to see Elle once more.

 **Not my best work, but I hope it's good enough.**

 **Where do you think Ethan is?**

 **Now comes the hardest chapter, which I haven't even started writing yet - the talk!**

 **Hope to see you soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who has read or is reading this story, I'm sure you know how much I appreciate it.**

 **This last chapter has taken a lot of writing. You know how it is sometimes...you have an idea and start writing with massive enthusiasm, then you get to the final chapter and you get massively stuck!**

 **Hope it doesn't suck to much.**

 **Chapter 3**

Cal spotted the solitary, hunched over figure before he had even switched off the car engine. He sighed sadly at the sight, knowing full well that he was partly to blame.

He got out of the car and pulled his coat around him - why was it always so cold whenever they were here?

As he got closer to his brother, Cal could see Ethan's face looking out to sea - his face damp from the fine rain that was blowing in the wind - at least that's what he hoped it was.

He saw the younger man tense slightly, indicating that he was aware of his presence, "Can I sit?" he asked gently.

Ethan shrugged his shoulders, so Cal took it as permission. He sat as close to Ethan as he dared, his hands shoved into his pocket trying to ward off the freezing temperature. Ethan picked up a takeaway cardboard cup and offered it to Cal, who took it gratefully, "How did you know?" he asked.

"I knew as soon as I text you that you'd find out where I was. It was only a matter of time," the young doctor told him, his voice void of emotion.

Cal took a drink of his coffee and followed Ethan's gaze out to sea, "We really need to come here in the summer when it's warmer," he mused.

"It's better like this," Ethan said sharply, "It only holds bad memories, so the cold is good - it suits our thoughts about this place."

"Don't say that Ethan, we had a few good times here," Cal tried to remind him.

"Funny, I can't remember any of them," Ethan replied bitterly.

Cal took another drink, then sucked in a deep breath, "You didn't come home last night," he stated.

"Well thank you Captain Obvious..." Ethan chuckled mirthlessly.

"You going to tell me why? I was worried..."

"Worried? Huh, that's a joke..."

"Ethan, I..."

"Do you know what? I'm not going to do it this time. I usually skirt round the real issue, but this time I won't - I've got nothing to lose," Ethan turned slightly so that he was facing his brother - hurt and anger clearly visible on his young face.

"You kissed her! Alicia. You knew how I felt about her, but you couldn't have that. You had to get your claws into her - was it to spite me eh? Or were you jealous that I had found somebody young and beautiful - that I was happy and you weren't, so you thought you'd steal her from me!" Cal could see that Ethan was steaming, "I didn't kiss her," he mumbled, knowing full well that that would just rile his brother up once more.

"Oh right, so when I walked into the pub and you had your lips pressed onto hers, that wasn't really you. Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Cal was at a loss. He wanted to explain what really happened that night, but he knew that it would just make Ethan even more angry - he would accuse him of trying to get Alicia into trouble, always blaming someone else, even though this time it was true.

"I know you probably won't believe me when I say this, and I don't say it lightly, but it was Alicia who kissed me. She'd had a hard day and she had had a few glasses of wine, so she was a little out of it. We were talking - we were having a laugh. I bent down to pick up a tenner that I had dropped when I was getting my money out and as I got up she kissed me - but I swear to you Ethan, I pushed her off as soon as she did it. Then I helped her get a taxi - that's when we bumped into David."

Ethan watched him intently as he explained his part in the story - he seemed genuine enough, but then again, Cal could always make up a good story.

Cal noticed the intensity of Ethan's gaze making him feel uncomfortable. He could understand his brother's reluctance to believe him, after all, he didn't really have a fabulous track record when it came to Ethan, which is why it was so hard now.

"Ethan, please believe me. I've learned my lessons from the past. Now I would never do anything to purposely to hurt you. I knew how you felt about Alicia, which is why I pushed her away. I'm so very sorry that you saw what you did, but it wasn't what you thought it was," Cal told him sincerely.

"I really liked her Cal. It felt like I might have been given a second chance at living a semi normal life...I can't help but feel betrayed Cal," Ethan's face softened a little.

"I get that Ethan, I do. If it was the other way round, I'd feel exactly the same way, but it wasn't like that at all. I just need you to believe it Ethan, please," Cal was almost begging by this point.

"Alicia messaged me to tell me the same, but to be honest, I thought that you had made her do that, to get you off the hook."

"Ethan I wouldn't..."

"I know because Lily also messaged me. She was in the pub at the time and she saw what happened, so she wanted to fill me in before I jumped to conclusions..."

"How did that work out for you?" Cal asked cheekily.

"Hmm not the best," Ethan replied with a slight smile, "Do you think she likes me? Alicia I mean," the younger man asked innocently.

"Honestly Ethan, I don't know. I don't think she knows either..."

The two brothers fell into a more relaxed silence as they carried on drinking their warm drinks, their hands wrapped around the cups in the hope of keeping their hands warm.

"I'm sorry Cal," Ethan almost whispered.

To say that Cal was shocked to hear this was an understatement, "What are you sorry for?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"I always think the worst of you. I never give you a chance to explain. I suppose with Alicia, I couldn't believe that a gorgeous, intelligent young woman would look twice at me so when I saw you two I just put two and two together and got five," Ethan looked down to the floor, the fight that had been in him when Cal had first found him had left him completely, leaving him feeling drained.

Cal chuckled lightly, "I don't blame you you know. I usually do muck things up for you and me. But I think I've changed over the last year and especially since Christmas with mum and everything..."

"You mean the Huntingtons..."

"I will admit that it's put everything into perspective. I've had days where I've done nothing but think about what our lives were like when we were younger, how awful I was to you sometimes. I was still being an idiot when I first arrived in Holby. However you have put up with me I'll never know - but you have, and I wish, now more than ever that I hadn't been such an idiot to you for all those years," Cal felt his throat closing, "You're my little brother and I love you so damn much and the thought of my actions causing you so much pain pretty much kills me," the older man admitted, suddenly unable to look the younger man in the eye.

Ethan felt tears falling down his face. He swiped them away, embarrassed by his emotions, "Perhaps if we'd both been a little more tolerant of each other we wouldn't be in this mess at the moment."

"Perhaps...but we've still got time to make things right. I've told you that I want to be there for you and I do, I really mean that," Cal told him forcefully.

"I know you do Cal and I appreciate that," Ethan replied, sincerely.

The two brothers fell into a comfortable silence then just watching the waves lash the beach. They were both in a world of their own, Cal snatching glimpses of his brother who seemed to be deep in thought. Suddenly, Ethan looked at his watch, "Goodness, no wonder I felt peckish - it's way past lunch..."

Ethan turned to his brother, a big smile on his face, "Fish and chips?"

Cal returned the smile as he threw an arm around his shoulder, "My treat!"

 **So that's the end. I didn't want it dragging on to long. Hope it was ok.**

 **Til next time.**


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